I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
