Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
