My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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