Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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