I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
