Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize