So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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