you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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