I'm going to jail i love you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
