Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize