Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
