And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
