The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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