I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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