i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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