I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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