break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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