I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
