Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This house was built for laser tag.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Randomize
