man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize