Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
