thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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