Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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