You're so nebulous sometimes
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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