I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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