i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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