Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
