Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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