Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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