i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
