I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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