I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
