He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize