...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
