i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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