He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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