a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
