every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The adults are the big ones right?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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