I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
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