I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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