If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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