My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
