My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
