They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
