Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
