the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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