the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
