There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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