Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
