The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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