Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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