we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
vagina is talking i cant
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
