So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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