oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
