He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
