4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
