If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
