I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
NoShamevember. You game?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
