Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
