And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
