so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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