You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
