the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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