She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
