Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
