it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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