I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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