Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
