I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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