would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
