Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
