If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
