ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
