dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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