he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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