I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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