Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
