rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
