She said her name was "party"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
