Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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