I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
