I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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