The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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