When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
