You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
