We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
