He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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