I'm laying in your front yard are you home
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize