i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
